Piadas Engracadas – Best Dating Sites 2018 Dating Tips Can an IDEALIST ever find THE ONE? Dating Advice – Dreams Around The World

Can an IDEALIST ever find THE ONE? Dating Advice – Dreams Around The World

So if you are an idealist type that could be an ENFP infp ENFJ infj there's a very good chance that you are way too hard on yourself and with being hard on yourself comes nosov being hard on other people and that is the topic for today's video which is based on a question sent in from Nikki so Nikki says I just found out I am an INFP and found your podcast listened to a bunch of episodes my main concern is what it says about infps and relationships I am worried how will I know for sure if anyone is truly compatible with me or will no-one ever be because I will always expect too much will I ever meet the one if I am always looking to improve my partner I have had such a turbulent history in relationships that it's gotten to the point where I no longer trust my own judgment and she ends with I have had such a turbulent history in relationship that it has gotten to the point where I no longer trust my own judgment what an awesome question Nikki thank you so there is a very good chance that you are definitely too hard on other people and too hard on yourself now that is not because you are some evil type a narcissistic boss or a partner but it is just because you're an idealist and you see the potential and you always want to make things better but idealist tend not to be realist and this gets us into trouble in a couple ways one is you know setting expectations for ourselves that are not really possible in the you know earth we live in now or in other people and it also leads to some difficult situations we're always trying to improve and push others around us sometimes they don't want that push necessarily or they maybe do want it but not from their partner personally if I can get into some of my own relationship history this definitely came up for me and does come up as well in my own relationship of dealing with that especially in this case because I'm doing coaching and helping people with their businesses and my girlfriend is having a business and this sort of thing so it's natural when she brings up a struggle for me to want to get into like Coach tan right and that is not good for a relationship intent anyone else who's in a similar situation along a similar note for the longest time when I was single and I was dating I was always like overly picky about people's flaws you know this person seems great but you know this and this they don't have this little thing and all that and it's not just saying not you don't want to be picky but there's a point where you need to realize like none of us are perfect right we all have a lot of flaws and part of having a good relationship is learning to accept people for who they are and love them for who they are and for whatever reason that's something that some of us have trouble doing and I would really encourage you to work on that if you learn to accept your partner for who they are you're actually in a much better position to help them improve to help them maybe become more of the person you and them can't just be you wants them to become right one in your partner to improve and become better there's nothing wrong with that in fact a lot of people and relationships because their partners are sort of stagnant and they don't want to improve themselves or improve each other so wanting to become better and improve is awesome problem is when you're doing it in sort of an overly critical way or that you're never happy with where you're at so you want to learn to be happy with where someone is where you are and where you are together be grateful be happy and then try to improve as well and get better I to me I think that's the recipe for a very loving and a very successful relationship how can you do that I don't know find another video thing no kidding the best way I think to do that is honestly just mental exercises I just filmed another video about act as if that one of the easiest ways to change behavior is just change your actions and there's some like similar kind of easy practices you can do so there's something called a gratitude practice which is where first thing in the morning or at the end of the day you think about the things you're grateful for this has been shown to improve feelings of gratitude which then improves feelings of well-being and overall happiness stress has all these positive effects and all you're doing is sitting for a couple minutes and thinking about what you're grateful for and that can have a massive impact on your physiology on your thoughts and your emotions on everything else you could do the same thing with your partner right just think what am i grateful for with this person what do I love about this person and take a minute you know to think about that with them like what do I love and only let yourself focus on the good things right don't get into judgment don't whatever if you're at a point where you really can't do this exercise because you just go to the negative in your partner probably relationship therapist slash breakup time at that point but assuming you can and if you're in an early part of a relationship just build this practice early and keep it up just focus on the good parts and them and remind yourself sometimes like I've done this where I'll have a judgemental thought come into my mind whether it's about you know someone I'm working with or someone I in a relationship with our friend and just I kind of train the thought to pop in like is it are you really being fair like judging them for this and it's not to say I come back and then say but Dan there's all these things wrong with you but it's acknowledging that no one is you know well-rounded and perfect at everything right with the good comes the bad if you want to date someone who's really creative and spontaneous and adventures don't complain when they have a messy kitchen right this is probably gonna go hand in hand these sorts of personality traits so take some time on I would say daily basis to just remind yourself of these thoughts being more open to people like accepting who they are being more grateful for who they are and you'd be surprised I've had just a few of these little thoughts that I've kind of repeated or brought up the questions for myself about like learning to accept people fully and you know this aspect of focus on the positive commit to the person and don't worry about the little details and it makes a huge difference at least it did in my life and hopefully it will help in your so you are not hopeless you will find mr right and I know as an INFP that you will be looking for that Prince Charming because that's you know you want that perfect fantasy relationship maybe lower the bar slightly like 5% on how perfect it has to be but otherwise keep up the look but in an accepting way where you take the good in the bad and you will find that perfect person and have a great relationship and it is still okay to trust your judgment just extend your judgment to be a little more accepting thanks for watching if there's someone in your life that you think eh maybe they should watch this video maybe your boyfriend and girlfriend should watch this video be sure to share it with them I really do appreciate it it helps the channel grow you haven't yet subscribed to the channel I make so many videos on enfps and infps and idealist INFJs you guys well really not many 4ef days I don't know why so subscribe to the channel you'll catch a lot more of those videos as they come out thanks for watching and have a great day

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