Piadas Engracadas – Best Dating Sites 2018 Dating Tips 5 Tips for Dating with a Mental Illness

5 Tips for Dating with a Mental Illness

– Hey, everybody, happy Thursday Now, today's question is one that has been asked for a really long time so I hope you find my answer helpful but before we jump into that, are you new to my channel? Welcome, I hope you're subscribed and I put out videos on Mondays and Thursdays so make sure you have those notifications turned on so you don't miss out but let's jump into the question

Kati, do you have any tips for being in a relationship when you have a mental illness? And the short answer is yes, I have a lot of tips but let's jump into the first tip and that is to take care of yourself first because then and only then can we healthfully engage in other relationships That's why that phrase you can't love someone if you don't first love yourself is so popular and I know a lot of people hate it but just hear me out Hold on, I'll explain It doesn't mean that you can't love someone else because a lot of people get upset about that thinking that well, I'm never gonna love myself so what you're saying is I can never be in a relationship, I can never love anybody, thanks for nothing That's not what it means

What it means is yes, we can love someone else, we can be in a relationship but it's not coming from a healthy, happy, stable foundation and since we don't have that stable foundation to build out of, we can start fights or disagreements where there shouldn't be any We can inadvertently use this relationship to try to work through our own issues Now, trust me, none of us come from these perfect families where everybody communicates and everything is clear and healthy and happy That's actually not the norm Many people grow up in families where they don't communicate about anything they feel

Fights are like, no, no, no, let's not argue Shh, keep your voice down A lot of people grow up like that There are also families that shout as a way to communicate and it can sound like they're fighting and screaming at each other but that's just the way they express themselves Also, there are families that maybe had addiction in the household so that can lead to a lot of codependent behaviors as well as enabling behaviors and all of that stuff can affect how we interact in relationships in our life and the reason I bring up all of these different things is because there are so many variations and we all come from different households and we need to give ourselves the time to process it through

Even just acknowledging that our family wasn't perfect and that we didn't communicate in the best way is a huge step Whatever the behavior we were raised in, the bad behavior that we're talking about, maybe some unhealthy habits, it's perpetuated by relationships and so if we're just starting a relationship or not in a relationship, it's best to stay out of one while you work through it Otherwise, we won't even recognize the things we're doing and we'll find ourselves having the same type of relationship we had before or the one that our parents had If we continue jumping from relationship to relationship like a monkey swinging from tree to tree, we're never left alone with our own thoughts in order to recognize what's going on, how we feel, what behaviors we're doing that maybe we don't like or we're not proud of We all have them

It's important that we spend some time by ourselves in order to process through that, to acknowledge it, to talk about it with a therapist and then move on so that then we don't continue that behavior and bring all that nasty unhealthy baggage into our new relationship because the truth is working through all of that is really hard work and it's easier when we're alone and I know that that sounds kind of awful and a lot of us struggle with loneliness and we don't like being out of a relationship and I totally understand It doesn't have to be that way but it's easier If you are already in a devoted relationship, it'd be great for you both to be in individual counseling or therapy and then do couples therapy so that you can work through your stuff and then talk about it so that you're both on the same page and growing together Problems arise when one person, one member of a couple, goes to therapy and tries to work on things and the other one's not participating because then one's trying to change and the other is like, hey, you never did this before, I don't know who you are, I don't like this and we can get a lot of backlash and have a lot of fights and disagreements that maybe could have been prevented by both of you engaging in therapy at the same time and also, just continuing to communicate fully with another person about all that you're going through If you're already in a devoted relationship and you're trying to work on your mental illness, we need to communicate that to them

We need to allow them the time needed to understand what our illness is They can educate themselves and be more aware For instance, let's say we struggle with bipolar 1 disorder and we have manic episodes, it'd be nice if our partner knows what the signals and symptoms are before we go into mania What are our hypomanic symptoms so they can notice them, let us know and get us help sooner rather than later or be there for us and offer some more self-care when we need it We need to have a line of communication open with them so that they can better understand our illness, educate themselves on how it is for us and then assist us as needed

And my last tip is go slow If you're starting a relationship, give yourself the time needed to trust them Allow them to prove that they're trustworthy and that they deserve to be in your life When we move too quickly in relationships, we can give ourselves a false sense of intimacy and that can leave us feeling more vulnerable than maybe we're ready and okay with feeling and so give yourself the time to let it grow Relationships don't happen overnight

They're not supposed to There's a reason friendships often last longer than romantic ones because friendships build over time We have plenty of time in between seeing them to do our own thing and figure out who we are We can communicate with them more openly Why do we think that is? I think it's because people rush into romantic relationships and feel like they have to be at a certain point by a certain age or a certain time

That's not how it is Give yourself the time needed to ensure that you're making relationships with people who deserve it and who will work with you because overall, if we're struggling with a mental illness, we need someone who's compassionate, who's caring, who seeks to understand us and overall, will be there when we need them This video has been brought to you by the kinions on Patreon If you would like to support the creation of these mental health videos, click the link in the description and check it out As always, I can't mention everything

I don't have all the tips You have many tips too Leave 'em in the comments and let us know what has really helped you in your relationships? Was there a way that you educated those you love about your mental illness? Let us know in the comments Share in your experience because with my expertise and your experience, we can work towards a healthy mind and a healthy body If you want more information like this, you could check out those playlists and I will see you next time, bye

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